Description

If there’s one thing James Deen really loves, it’s food. Since it is his birthday, he lets us in on one important secret: Free Birthday Food is something that he loves more than food itself. He then consults Siri and asks where he can get free birthday food, to which Siri responds that she has found 15 restaurants, 14 of which are very close to James Deen’s location. His first destination is Denny’s Diner. At Denny’s Diner, they give free meal to birthday celebrants for as long as they can present a valid ID. He orders bacon and hash browns. The bacon is saucy and crunchy and he comments “You can really taste the bacon.” They head to another restaurant, where James Deen casually walks over to one of the staff and informs them it’s his birthday. He asks if they give away free food for customers celebrating their birthdays. Sadly, they don’t. He goes to Baskin Robbins next. Up close, it is revealed that James Deen is wearing a blue pin that read ‘Birthday Boy’. Once again, he asks the staff if they have any free giveaways for birthday celebrants. It seems that they don’t. When James asks if he could have a sample of the ‘Jamocha Almond Fudge’, the staff happily agrees and replies “That you can”. It was a tiny scoop of ice cream on a small spoon. Either way, it still made James happy as he exclaimed “Yay! Happy Birthday to me” before eating his small free taste of ice cream. At the next restaurant, James points at his birthday boy pin and exclaims, “It’s my birthday!” He only got a “Happy birthday to you!” greeting from one of the staff. No free food there. He heads to Arby’s, and asks the same question he did during the first few restaurants he visited. The cashier was not quite knowledgeable with any freebies offered by their establishment. James hands over his ID to prove he wasn’t lying and that he was a legit birthday celebrant on that day. He ends up getting a free shake. At Jack in the Box, James Deen gets a free cheesecake for his birthday. As he happily walks out with his paper bag of cheesecake, he pauses and glances mischievously at the sign on the opposite side of the restaurant. The big red sign read ‘Tommy’s’. Before his companion could even take a breath and say anything, James fled for the restaurant in his quest for more free birthday food. Though the establishment does not seem to give any free food for birthday celebrants, James tries to bargain with some fries. One of the staff jokingly gestures and asks, “Just one fry?” Literally, she was referring to a single potato fry. But James didn’t mind and said replied yes, since it is his birthday. The staff laughed, handing over a single piece of French fry to James. He heads to Cinnabon, but they don’t give free birthday stuff. They also prohibit taking pictures and shooting videos within the establishment. Carl’s Jr. has the same lack of Free Birthday Stuff policy. James Deen instead opts to just order a Spicy Chicken with No Mayo and No Tomato to-go. Oh, and James also broke his birthday pin. Cold Stone does offer free ice cream for birthday celebrants. However, customers need to sign up at their website first in order to avail the cold, yummy freebie. James is bummed and lets out a heavy-hearted, “Damn!” Maybe next year? At Chili’s, he learns that they do give free food, only it also comes with some birthday singing as part of their birthday protocol. James doesn’t need all the extra effort, though. He really only wants free birthday food, nothing else. His final stop is the drive-through at Burger King. He pretends to be a first-time customer and tries to confirm if they do serve free sundae or fries for customers celebrating their birthdays. The staff tells James that he will need to confirm with his manager if such an offer exists. Unfortunately, even after James handed his ID for verification, the staff simply replies, “No such thing.” Back at his place, James eats his free cheesecake, while citing all the restaurants that did not offer free stuff and sucked. He also cited the restaurants that he found cool, and these include Jack in the Box, Baskin Robbins and Denny’s Diner. Nearing the last bit of his cheesecake, James gives a half-smile, “Happy birthday to me. I’m not sharing.” Then, from the background, we hear James’ friends exclaim, “Happy Birthday, James!” It left a bright smile on his face and James finishes off his cheesecake with a big thumbs up.