Donuts

2015-01-30

James Deen

Description

The video opens to James Deen making a quick advertisement for www.hotmovies.com. James loves donuts and holes. By holes, he means vaginas. Whenever he wants to feast his eyes on some lovely loveholes of hot women, HotMovies.com is his go-to website. But, whenever he craves for donuts, he bakes some for himself and calls them ‘Deenuts’. At his kitchen, James Deen’s counter is filled with tons of food. He is holding a container filled with a dozen of sugar-glazed donuts. On his other hand is a pen, which he uses to cross out the letter ‘o’ on the container where the donuts are placed. He replaces the letter ‘o’ with two ‘e’s. Donuts make James Deen go nuts. And in his food videos, he likes to do things differently. He will be demonstrating how to make Deenuts (not donuts). He clarifies that the difference between Deenuts and donuts, is donuts are for pussies, while Deenuts are for awesome people. On his messy kitchen counter, he shows the ingredients for making donuts. He adds that Deenuts would not exist without donuts, and so to be able to make Deenuts, he’d have to start off first with the basics: flour, eggs, sugar, yeast, shortening, milk, water, and salt. He then begins putting in the ingredients one by one into the mixer. When the mixture begins to become coagulated, he stops the mixer for a bit, before he turns it on once again. This time, the mixer is switched to a higher speed. He transfers it to a pot and puts it away. Upon returning to his kitchen, he jokingly remarks how having sponsors helped clean his kitchen top in an instant. He pours flour on the table then puts some of the mixture over it. One of his crew hands him a rolling pin and he begins to roll it over the dough. After rolling the dough flat, he gets a mug and presses the lips of the mug over the dough to create numerous circles for the donuts. In the midst of preparing the mixture and rolling the dough, James comments, “I shouldn’t be wearing pants for this.” Next he creates the donut holes using a smaller, round container. When all the donut holes were finally set, James looks into the camera and smiles devilishly, “Time to make the donuts.” He adds red sour patch kids to one of the donuts, cookie dough to the next batch and Sriracha on the third one. In between adding the toppings for the donuts, James pours some rum into a bowl, followed by some Budweiser and ice cream. James was making what he calls, are bronuts. After he is done preparing the Sriracha donut, James calls for his sidekick, whose name is Seth, to join him on the show. Seth has a bushy red beard and James notes that he needs to wear a hairnet. Sadly, Seth doesn’t have a hairnet with him. Either way, he helps James fry the donuts. The first donut that they fry is the sour patch donuts. “It looks like a croissant” Seth comments after the donut is taken out of the deep fryer and rolled over some sour patch powder. The cookie doughnut was next. Seth attempts to take the donut out of the deep fryer a tad too early. Thankfully James was there to check and confirm that the donut has not yet been cooked all the way through. When the donut was finally cooked all the way through, they transfer it to a plate. Meanwhile, one of the crew hands a hairnet over to Seth. Seth is baffled. “How am I going to put this on?”. In the end, he puts the hairnet on his beard. The hair net kept rolling up his nose that he had difficulty breathing. Poor Seth. While the Sriracha donut is being fried, Seth grabs the bowl of Bronuts and it has a strong stench of beer. The batter looks gooey and a bit gross as James transfers it on the flour. They decided not to shape it into a circle or add a hole on the bronut dough and simply put in into the deep fryer. They crush some coffee beans and add it to the next donut. One of the donuts, which seemed more like a fried ball of dough, got injected with a shot of rum. James also creates two Dorito donuts—one was cool ranch flavor while the other was a classic nacho cheese flavor. They roll the fried Dorito donuts on Dorito flour. Finally, it’s time to taste experimental donut (or deenut) they’ve created. Before they begin, James unbuttons his shirt, making Seth feel a little uncomfortable. In order of arrangement, the Sriracha donut was the first to be taste-tested. James and Seth admit that they hate Sriracha. But this time, Seth took one for the team and ate half a bit of the Sriracha donut. It was hella spicy for Seth. James pulls off his belt, and Seth worrily mutters, “I’m not standing next to him if he’s gonna be completely naked.” Next was the Rumball. James takes a bite first. It wasn’t cooked all the way. The Bronut, which was made out of beer, looked like a mess but was cooked all the way through. It had a distinct crunch to it and it also tasted like beer batter onion rings—only, it doesn’t have onions. James takes off his boots. The ice cream donut was nothing extraordinary. The taste had a hint of strawberry ice cream. The sour patch kid donut was obviously sour. Following the sour patch kid donut was the coffee donut. By the time, James had taken a bite off of the coffee donut, he had already taken off his pants. The coffee donut was really good. James takes off his socks, before Seth tastes the cookie doughnut. Unfortunately, it did not leave up to their expectations. The donut was not fully cooked. Surprisingly, the nacho cheese Dorito donuts seemed to taste a lot better than the cookie dough-flavored ones. As for the Cool Ranch Dorito donuts, it was clearly a mistake. Seth could not hide his disappointment after he took a bite. The entire experience was a lesson learned for James Deen. Donuts, as it turns out, are better than Deenuts. He takes off his brief and puts it on the counter. Seth walks out and James smiles mischievously at the camera.

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